3 Little Details That Made the Movie VICE so, so Bad

This is not a movie review. I thought of doing a review of Vice, but in the end, I realized I didn’t care about it enough to do a proper review. And here’s why.

1. Every other guy ever is a murderous, raping scumbag. Those who aren’t rapists or murderers seem to need a reason to not rape or murder anyone (one is still in love with his dead wife and the other’s a cop).

Post11cI mean, seriously, given a place where you can do anything you want, why does the go-to have to be violence towards women? What happened to healthy fun stuff like parasailing naked or doing gymnastics atop elephants or trying to eat fifty cronuts? Portraying men as scum and women as victims is SO 2014, you guys.

2. Armed, trained guards can’t shoot to save their lives. Not even a graze to the heroes throughout the entire movie.


Where are they finding these guards?? They are useless. FIRE THEM.

3. THIS happened.




This was where I proceeded to turn my brain off. From that point on, there were no more shits given to any of the mains. Because anyone who is stupid enough to turn down a full mind-and-body upgrade while there is an army after them does not deserve to live. In fact, I wanted to kill them myself.

Aaand that’s why I couldn’t take anything about Vice seriously. What was the last movie you couldn’t take seriously?

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  • Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

    Thank you for watching this movie so I don’t have to.

    I tend to wait to see what other people say before watching movies these days. So the last movie I totally couldn’t take seriously was probably Star Trek II (the new one), but for entirely different reasons from your post — I’m a huge ST fan, so the final scenes where (spoilers) they basically redid the ENTIRE END OF WRATH OF KHAN ONLY FLIPPED, but then instead of following through with death they casually invented IMMORTALITY with NO CONSEQUENCE OR COMMENTARY and NEVER MENTIONED IT AGAIN —

    Yeah. Fuck that noise. I was so excited for that movie, and so disappointed. I was rolling my eyes through the entire climax.

    • Oh, that’s the one where they white-washed Khan’s character? Yeaaaa, not watching that. 😀 Pore pencil! *strokes your eraser*

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