The Submissions Process, Part Two

Day 11:

Surprisingly, Days 10 and 11 go by like normal days. As in, time passed. It might be because it’s the weekend and Mr. Cow and I spent our time running errands and stuff.

Day 12:

Finish editing second book. Feel entirely badass.

Manuscript, you got pwned.


Day 13:

An update from Junior Agent! “Out of the 9 editors we pitched to, 3 said it didn’t fit their list/their list was too full. The rest asked for the full MS. I will follow up with them in the new year.” Is that good or bad news? I can’t tell. I manage to thank Junior Agent without squealing, “WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ZOMGS.”

Yaaay!! …I think?


Day 14:

It is day 14. Two weeks. Two weeks since they pitched my book. Time is officially my nemesis. It is both going way too slow (Only two weeks?? Augh!) and somehow too fast (it’s been two weeks and no word from editors who have the full?! Inconceivable!)

I will die. I know it. This world is just too cruel.


Day 15:

Last night, I actually dreamt that I got offers from four different editors, one of them from Random House. This is precisely why part of me prefers nightmares to cruelly good dreams. When you wake up from a nightmare, you’re like, “Phew, my life does not actually involve being chased down Main Street by a chainsaw-wielding octopus! My life is the shit!” When you wake up from a good dream, it’s always, “Aw man, I’m not really a trillionaire with a lunch date with Oprah, followed by coffee with Hugh Jackman. My life is shit.”

Day 16:

Would you believe it, I had another dream about getting an offer, this time from Quercus. Wake up disappointed again. Today is the last day before most places shut down for Christmas. After today, I doubt Junior or Senior Agent would be available on e-mail, which doesn’t matter because the editors are probably all busy partying. I have never felt so much hatred towards Christmas.

I hear you, Grinch.


(To be Continued . . . )

The Submissions Process, Part One

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